Conversations With An 8 Ball

I should know by now

2007-01-14T21:42:00.000+08:00

I have always been strong. No one saw me cry, I never let them, and if they do. They have to move on. They know I will.

Here's a letter written by Peter Pan to his Tinkerbell

Dearest Tink,

I'll never forget that first time I saw you fly out of the double doored hole in the oak tree. You were so spirited and pre-occupied you barely noticed me. I was waiting for the lost boys then and I just happened to stumble upon you. The very busy little musical fairy. You didn't even look at me when you suddly flew past my foot and sprinkled it with your fairy dust. I smiled when you did and I saw my feet fly. Here, I knew, I was going to be head over heels for you.

After a while, which was really just 5 minutes., I found out you were meeting with one of the Lost Boys. I was happy and fluttered. You weren't talking but your little bells were ringing and you looked at me with those little eyes and held out your hand. Knowing that sprites and fairies didn't talk, my littlest Lost Boy did it for you but when he was about to open his mouth, you flew to my nose and said, "Hi, my name is Tinkerbell. What's yours?" And I smiled again. Now my lips flew again.

"I'm Peter." I answered, "Peter Pan."

After that, I couldn't remember. We shared times of fun over and over again. We spoke of the littlest things and the biggest things as well. You taught me of the fairies and their music. I taught you of the world and its mysteries. We shared our lives with each other in Neverland and somehow, eternal youth became sweeter.

Until one day, under the moon and the cathedral over at Silent Pirate's cove, when we were laying underneath the sky you flew to my face and danced on my nose once more.

"What's the matter Tinkerbell?" I asked, rubbing your head with the tip of my finger.

"Nothing." you answered as you shook your head. "I just want to teach you something."

I got up and smiled, "Then teach me Tink! I want to learn more about you." I was excited. What more could she tell me?

"Close your eyes and count to ten." you smiled as took my thumb and dancedon my palm. I did what you said. I closed my eyes and counted to ten. I could hear you talking, "Think of the happiest thoughts, only the happiest of thoughts Peter and you'll learn." you left my palm and flew to my head. You rested on the top and showered me with your pixie dust again. "Now count...1 to ten."

I nodded, "One...two...ten..."

After a while, I couldn't feel the ground and only soft clouds. I wanted to open my eyes but you said to wait a little more time.

"You won't learn if you're not patient." you teased, and you reminded me that I cheated on the counting. I just nodded again and spread my arms, as you flew underneath them.

"Now Peter, look and see." whispered you to me, "This is how you make me feel everyday."

I opened my eyes and no words came out. I could see Neverland! Not under a tree, not on horses or through little bees, but high up above like some great Condor! Tinkerbell, you taught me to fly and many more.

Eversince that day, we danced on clouds. WE shared the world together, went on adventrues together and were happy together. Now I don't know what happened. I guess I spent to muchtime on Earth. The grown-ups caught me and taught me lessons and lessons. I didn't know their worth.

I became stupid, I forgot who I was. I didn't know I was Peter Pan and I left my Tinkerbell alone in the dark.

I tried to come back. Desperately, I did, but I guess it will take long before that happens again. I don't know when, and I don't know how, but I want to be a Lost Boy again, a Peter Pan. Someway, somehow. To admit it would be my defeat, it would be the sign that I truly loved you, but that's what I want. I want you to know. I love you. Deeply. The things I said before everything, was true. The sweetness. The anger. The tears. Everything was true.

I've made me decision for a reason and I know you of all people understand it the most. We shared something that left a mark. The thought of you gone, it just hurts, but I have to move on. We talked about this, and I agreed, you agreed, we both agreed.

I know in time we both will forget about each other, but I want you to know. There are just some things that were not meant to be forgotten. The clouds in between my feet, your hand in mine. Though you were little Tinerbell, everything the you taught me wasn't.

You taught me to dream again, though yes we had times that we both forgot, but Tinkerbell, I want you to know..

I still love you..

A whole lot.

I'll be back, I promise, someway, somehow, but right now you can forget about me. Even if it will hurt me deeply and scar me. I can't hold you down.

Your spirit was made to fly. Away from oaks and saddening lullabies.

I love you Tinkerbell, please remember, but I think for now. Neverland will be a never.

Love,
Peter Pan

Pizzicato 5 and The Little Prince

2006-11-14T07:27:00.000+08:00

Hola!

I love this song! Haha, makes me wanna dance yet again. Haha! (oo na Jami! get ko na!)

This song brings back wild memories of my grade school life and I could never be happier. Haha, yes, I know its in Japanese but I don't care, its such a fun, youthful and very ecstatic song! Something I would never, ever, ever, ever wanna remove from my system! Eve if I'm in my 80's I'll still be dancing to this. I am in love with the song!

Why am I so ecstatic? Well, I jsut got reminded of my youth that's all, not that I'm already THAT old or old enough to do so, but people, revently, grow up faster than that is natural or required to them. Its sad, but its a fact. Why I reached this thought? Thanks again to the Little Prince's grown-ups and mine as well.

I was sitting in the car durig our trip home from Tagaytay and they were talking about how young they were before now they're turning 48, 45, and goes on the years. One thing I noticed, is that, even them, they admit to doing things they scold and lecture us on now. They make it sound so fun, as how we see it now, but when they lecture us, they make us feel like its a sin. Everything changes as we grow older. Everything becomes more complicated, everything becomes a 'matter of consequence' and everything becomes everything else.

Yes, they have a point, the things we do, we might regret them in our 30's or 40's but right now, I'm not regretting anything. I'm young, youthful and I'm NOT IN MY 30's! I'll regret them in your time, but I'll censure them in mine. I'll make sense out of it later, I'll do nonesense now. That's how my life is, don't make me have meaning from it now.

Wait.

My life does havea meaning: my meaning, my definition.

Everything Deserves a Toast!

I'll toast to the sunset, it makes me feel life.
I'll toast to the bees, they make me feel pain.
I'll toast to the stars, they make me feel God.
I'll toast to the trees, they show me beauty.
I'll toast to the birds, they are my freedom.
I'll toast to the open road, it reminds me of my future.
I'll toast to my hair, its my crowning glory!
I'll toast to my body, its my cozy blanket.
I'll toast to my friends, who have not forgotten their childhood.
I'll toast to you, who find sense in my ramblings.
I'll toast to you once more, who deserve to live freely

Life is a road travelled in different cars, but I'm riding my bike. The sights are too beautiful to pass up, and whenever I need to, I could always stop and smell the roses, without opening any complicated doors.

Plain and Simple

2006-10-29T23:49:00.000+08:00

Okay, I'll just put it plain and simple for this entry. (I don't want it frilly. Haha.)

It all came down to just this. I guess that's it. It must have been the ensalada. Haha. I hate dinners.

Wait, there's a new storm on the way? Oh no! Please no! Huhu!

This rain is just too annoying, too annoying. Just like people with a lot of fucking BS.

I just don't like it when people start to go pretending again, either that or this is the only time that I'm founding out who that person is. Oh well, who am I to argue or judge? We're not that close anyway. So I'll just let that happen, but why people do that, is beyond me.

I have a few theories, maybe its because they think people will accept them even more when they let these people see how 'cool' they're acting or how 'classy' they can get. I don't know, but acceptance is nothing but a social by-line. It's just unconsciously implied. No matter how hard you say you hate conformity, somehow and somewhere inside you you're thinking of where to get that new shirt your cool classmate is wearing and how to get that funky new 'Paris Hilton -ish' accent that the anorexic girl in your class is spitting around. It's just a matter of knowing who you are, not who they want you to be.

YOu can't go around deceiving people about these things, when it comes to crunch time, they'll know you're just pretending and for them to see that is just destructive to you altogether. Period.

I don't understand why people need to keep up with social standards as to keep themselves happy. They want to lose weight just to be liked by that girl who every one loves. They want to start being loud just because loud is the only thing noticeable. They want to act like Paris Hilton because she's the biggest thing. Suddenly the world revolved on NOT being yourself, and NOT being yourself Is being yourself. Confusing, I know, but that's how I see it.

I'm not saying I'm not guilty of trying to be the hottest thing, I have to admit I fell into that pit, but some people go all out. I don't know. This sucks.

Well, regarding my first statement. All I said had nothing to do with it. Haha.

Out of the loop.

That's it.

Ciao

Madonna, Wi-Fi and WWE

2006-10-26T17:33:00.000+08:00

Hm, so here we are.

I have to much to post but I don't know where to start. Okay.. requests first...

I went to the WWE SMACKDOWN SURVIVOR SERIES TOUR! Hahahaha! My blog so feminine, the writer? Not too feminine. Hahaha.

It was so great to watch! Shoot! I got to see and EXPERIENCE the UNDERTAKER!! I love it! I just love it!

I don't know how to give a blow by blow account but Ill try.

Mr. Kennedy went out in his usual pompous way and started bagging on Pacquiao (Pakeeyaw as he would say it. haha) and every Filipino was like 'Boo!' and after that the Undertaker went out and started kicking his ass! Yo!

At some point, Chavo Guererro went out and whenever he would move, people would shout 'Eddie, Eddie!'

(Oops, I need to go shopping! Will edit this post when I get back! Toodles!)

**Added post**

So that was my WWE experience. (I'm not good with blow by blows)

Next one!

Now, Wi-Fi. Hmm, well. Dad installed this wireless router in our house and now every where is a hot spot. Well, every where in our house that is. Haha. Makes it fun really, and at DSL speed too. Hihi, I love my laptop. :P

Lastly...

Madonna!

I found myself totally bored the other day and nothing to download from Limewire. (All thanks to my two great guitar playing buddies who gave me undecent advice. Huhu!)

I really couldn't find anything that was suitable for my mood. John Mayer was getting too much of kudos from me. I just had to knock him out, and The Killers was the perfect answer.

Well, nothing to pure to say here. Nothing as deep as the other entries. All I have are random ramblings here. Maybe next time I'll have a real entry, but, till then?

Toodles!

Aftermath

2006-10-21T14:31:00.000+08:00

Look at this:

It's been a while since I last sat down here. Its been too long since I last saw the blue sky hold host to the dancing clouds. The soft crisp ocean wind blew through my hair and soothed my anxieties, my anxieties where my faith grew faint. I gazed at the long smooth carpet laid before the waters, the shore were amazing as they glistened along with the blue body. I closed my eyes and listened to the waves crash on the rocky cliffs that hung over me. I dug my feet into the warm sand and breathed in the salty taste of the sea. I have forgotten how this all felt.

They called my name again, pulling me back to reality. I didn't listen. I didn't want to. Why should I? If I come back there, it will be the ruin of me, so I disappeared. I let the dropping water from the cave walls drown out the sound of the material world. I disappeared. I let my ears be deafened by the sound of the breaking waves of the ocean as they hit the entrance of where I was. I disappeared. I felt the sand underneath my feet as they pull me closer to the sea. I disappeared. I let the water come over me as I close my eyes in a surrender. I disappeared. I let the sea pull me into its warm embrace. I disappeared. I floated down into the welcoming sea bed as it blanketed me in with its wild currents. I disappeared. I breathed in the water. I disppeared.

I know, most of you grew confused with what I wrote down here. Its not the exact same thing, but I wrote something down during INTFILO yesterday and this is a replica of it.

That's how I feel right now. I just want to lay down somewhere where its quiet and the bother of worldy things won't get in my way. I want to lay down and think about what I should do about my life. There are so many things that I did wrong, so many things I did right, but I still don't know which is really which.

I've made a mistake about something and I want to fix it, but was it really a mistake? To say how I felt? Maybe it was... HAha, I'm laughing at myself right now. I find it funny that I did something so unplanned. Something where there is no hope for redemption or to save my face. I guess that's it. What I tell people finally caught up with me. 'Do things with no restrictions. Look onto no future. Live for today.' Haha, well I did it and I guess am regretting it now, but I shouldn't be. I have to look on on ahead for what I did.

Its 3:18 pm and still no message. I guess there's my answer. I deserve. He was caught off-guard.

Message:
"I didn't do it to hurt you, not on purpose. I was pretending to be anythin nor was I pretending to anything. I was genuine. I hope you get better."

Plato and the Rest

2006-10-20T18:36:00.000+08:00

This I love the most.

I went to school today. Just in time for lunch at Plato and INTFILO. Hahaha, I love the feeling of sitting down and playing pusoy dos with my friends. One day without it makes me feel so bored and empty. Hahaha, yeah, cards addict, I know.

Well, what happened today? Well, I got around to palm reading again, which I haven't done in a while. Its all for a good cause anyway. My friend needed the help. :)

Oooh! Wait!

I fixed up my blog. hahahaha. I am just so happy. hehehe. Though its not really my hard work per se. Hey, I still made it.

Well, what else...

I found myself staring dead at the floor again earlier during INTFILO. No, it wasn't because of the topic. Unlike other people, I find INTFILO very interesting. Actually, I didn't know why. I was thinking of one person, but I didn't know who. I just can't put my finger on it. No, I can't even say I was thinking of a person. I was just thinking. That's it.

I've been doing that quite often now. Its making my life rather a bit more complicated than it should be. I thought things would go well, but lo and behold, they won't. Its a matter of knowing I guess and that's where I need help. I wish someone could read my palm too so I'd konw what to do. I just need the proper guidance. I really do.

Quotable Quote:
"To doubt something is an affirmation to its existence....When you doubt, you exist"
-Rene Descartes

I like this quote. It contradicts itself but it proves so many a thing. Its like, we're only deceiving ourself to the fact that we do not want to believe, but its right there, exisitng. Why we doubt is in perfect human nature. We try and shield ourselves from what we do not understand or even comprehend. We just want to be free from anything that will pre-occupy our minds with fear, anxiety or any other negative emotions. This is why we falter into doubt, but doubt isn't just for this purpose. I believe it has many other reasons, like the ones doubting.

We want to know more about this thing that we do not understand, therefore we doubt it. We do not want to jsut be simply caught into its non complexities, thats why we doubt it. I don't know why, but we doubt continuously even if we know we will wait and look so hard for the answer that might never come. I'mbeginning to understand why we lose hope at times. With all our lingering doubts, with all our worries and fears. We lose hope.

So sad, yes, but its a fact. Its what's happening to me right now and I can't accept it. I want to be sure, but I can't have it. I want to hold and grasp the reality with my own two hands but I cant..

I'm holding on still to what might be my future. I just hope there is. I miss the good old days where things weren't so complex and that what was said was said and that was it. Now we have a lot of hidden things we use to hurt people or ourselves.

Well, I guess that's it...

Mood: Confused
Soundtrack: Dreaming With a Broken Heart by John Mayer

Ooh, after so long?

2006-10-16T21:42:00.000+08:00

Oh my, hahaha.

I haven't been going here for a while. It seems like blogging is just so boring nowadays for me. Not that I dont have much to write down, its just that, you know, it gets dragging. Haha.

Okay, quick update of my life...ready? game.

1) I was appointed LA Chairperson of the LA Core of FAST 2006. (thanks Anne and Al)
2) I got a driver's licence(SP?) (yeah!)
3) I was almost DL. Like 0.something close. huhuhu!
4) I became president of our PE class. (Boo-hoo for me huh? Ronda takes too too too much pride)
5) I'm now using a new laptop. oh yeay!
6) Our FAST2006 had out BSB launch last Friday and it was such a success! It's so great!

Hahaha, these people are just so great! Krizzie did a good job and the performances were just hilarious! (Thanks na lang Al diba? hahaha!)

Well, I dont know what else to put down here. I'll think about the rest if I can make this longer. hahaha.

See you guys!

Toodles!

Gooday!

2006-07-16T10:10:00.000+08:00

Well, what can I say? The weekend has been a blast. Well...I think.

Me and my friends (Gise and Steph ; SAGAD sans MAC) went to Eastwood to watch Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest. It was great. THe cinematics were agin so up to par and the story line was very catchy. Johnny Depp's eccentric comedy has gotten to me yet again.

Okay. enough of the movie. All I can say about that is stay up until the credits end because there is a part after it that they'll show. Its from the next movie.:P

Speaking fo staying. We stayed until the thing ended and only we were left and a couple. The people behind and in front of us wanted to stay because they could hear me say to stay. I even gave out the ending to X-men:Last Stand after the credtis and they were like 'Let's stay.'

It was hilarious. Some of them even stayed by the side just to see, but alas, we wre the only ones strong enough to stay. haha. We got to hear the whole soundtrack of the movie and Steph got prompted to buy one. Its useless I think, we already heard the whole thing.

Well, I'm not very in the articulate mood right now. Nothing funny to say. Jsut funny things to remember.

Quotable Quote:
'Wow! Disney's been working out!' (me to the new castle of Disney.)

Guess what?! Disney has a new castle! It's not that little shawowy silhouette (SP?) anymore. :P its this Muy macho castle. Haha. I couldn't stop laughing. :P

Well, what else happened. Oh yeah. We played at Powerstation and we used my VIP card. (Yeah, VIP at an arcade. Im a fucking geek.) And in a day we got to collect 101 tickets. Steph wanted it so she can like, you know, start off.:P

Ang babaw namin. It was like good clean non-college fun. HAha, nakakamiss actually.

Too bad MAC wasn't there, but we always saved her a seat sa Seattle's Best. Never forget Baby Bear.:P

I love you Badoodles! Always take care of yourself alright. We are always here for you! MWAH!

Stevie Nicks and Feeltewood Mac

2006-07-01T15:41:00.000+08:00

Well, weekeend is here again and I think I'll be kicking it off right this Saturday: we're going to Eastwood to go to the Derma and watch Superman Returns, though, yes, I think the movie will suck even if I am a Superman fan, the actor playing Superman is a friggin' B-rate one. Even from the trailers I can tell he won't do much justice to the Rad-caped Wonder that is Superman. The only actor am waiting for there is Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. Now that's great acting, though I think he did the role a bit too manical I still think he brought out the Lex Luthor we all know and love. Okay, now updates on my life.

This week's school went by a bit too fast. Haha, it's getting old tht fast already? Oh well. Things are still going well anyway. The schooling is still normal and the hanging outs are still great. :P Yeah, we always hang out at La Casita and chill out there with the expensice food but we still get to have our fun. Lawr never lets a dull moment pass by with his jokes and silly criticisms. Yes! It's official! I have met my ultimate 'alaskador' match! Never though I'd see the day! I love you pare!

Okay, here would be a great place to put a funny anecdote.

Like Myk-Mark's experience with the Chinese writing reading on his shirt courtesy of our very much Chinese blockmates I went through the same thing. Not with my blockmates though. You see, I'm fond of those pants with the Korean writings written all over it which I have lerned to always just use at home. Why? Here's the skinny.

One day I was walking around the village wearing those pantswhen suddenly a group of Koreans sat near me and started laughing after they stared at my pants. I don't know if it were my fat legs that made them laugh or someone mixed in something wrong in their Kimchi but it was very embarassing. I asked my friend who was with me while they were laughing and good enough she knew one of them named David, or some Soo yong blah blah Chi that I didn't bother finding out, David was a good enough name for me. She went up to him and asked why they were laughing and David tried to muster up enough English that he can and said that my pants were saying something funny and wrong in grammar. How the heck was I supposed to know that? It's not really funny but I found it ratehr irritating and embarassing, but oh well. Whatever rocks their socks right? Hmph, let's see one day they go walking around earing a shirt that says 'Bobo Ako' or something with more profanity than I said that day. Geez!

Okay, quotable quote?
'Dad drive tayo.'
'Sige.'
-we get on the car and I start to drive-
'Ang bilis mo anak.'
'Dad, 50 lang yan.'
'Kahit na, mabilis pa din. Baka mahuli tayo, wag kang bastos sa ibang drivers.'
'Okay dad.'
-I slow down and a taxi rushes past by us-
'G*go yun ah!'
'Dad, easy lang.'
'Anak! Habulin mo! Dali, habulin mo!'
'Ok.'
-I step on the gas-
'Anak! singkwenta (50) lang takbo mo! Di mo aabutan yun! Bilisan mo!'

Exactly. I think the whole conversation speaks for itself.
Note:He forgot that I don't have my liscence(SP?) yet.

'Anak!Wala ka pang lisensya! Bagalan mo.'

EMo??

2006-06-06T07:52:00.000+08:00

Damn, I only get to update this whenever Tuesday comes around, maybe it's because its my 1 o'clock school day with only two effing classes. Grr. Okay.

Yesterday, we went to Krizzie's for our dance practice, (by the way, I won't be able to go today. Damn.) and things went pretty well naman. We got to choreograph na some parts of the song, actually, madami na, I said some kasi may mga counts na wala pa, but we have ideas na. (go boys!)

It was so fun. Lawr is a funky dancer, I didn't know that. Haha, go Lawr! Si Arik naman, Sweetie, quiet lang sa isang corner! hehe, actually, not quiet, making fun of me is more like it! Grr! Bad Abu!

I will Survive and Which Backstreet Boy is gay will be, I think, the most benta parts of the show. Haha! Ang funky nung steps its amazing! :P

Dami pa lang dancers sa block namin eh! Super talented ng mga tao!:P

Okay, how about I add a new feature to this funky format? How about a quote marker? Yeah, that'll be okay.

Quote:
"Finally! An Emo chick that can dance!"
- quoted from Al, LC 20 Block Presz!

Okay, that was so much of a first for me. Haha, I know I'm into music but do I really look so much of an Emo? Makes me wanna think: should I go for a wardrobe change or is my 'Expression Through Fashion' stint too much? ah, what the heck, it's college. Represent!

Emo...Haha, that's a new word in my 'Describe Me' list. Hehe, Thanks Al!

Okay, next format...

Question:
'Should I go German?'
Answer:
'Yes!' 'Of course!' 'You can count on it!' (I asked the effing ball 3 times)

Okay, I think I shouldn't leave my fate in a ball's, err, hands?

Okay, I was the first moron anyway, asking a ball that question. I know you guys are pretty much thinking what going German means, but I won't tell you. :P Explicit NC-16 content. :P Haha, just kidding. Wait, no I'm not. :P

It's been a thought in my head and with recent events that have been going by I think I won't. For both practical AND common sense reasons. I don't want to get on that plane. Not now. Not with that kind of flying buddy. I need goody bag.

Some things aren't going well with my life. I'm going through that stage again wherein I'm unsure of the choices I've made.

You see, in everything, I have like a border line on which I put all my decisions to the test. Test meaning I have a certain time frame for them and ,unconcsiously, I try things out and if they don't work out, then I'm sorry, I have to cut it off. I don't know but my body does that a lot. It works with my mind and tells me to stop something, but, being stupid as I am, I don't follow it. Soemtimes it gets worst and sometimes it gets better. My common sense just fails me. IBM is so useless for me.

Well, I've decided not to go to 'Germany' because I'm not ready yet and my riding buddy is an emotionally unstable wreck. Shit. It's always the tip of the iceburg before anyting 'sure' happens. Hide it to lure it in, huh?

Damn my sympathy and pity. Damn it all. Haha, shit man, this is so bad. I'm so caught up in something I didn't even think I will be caught up in. So much for look before you leap. Then again, I never even really bothered to look at mostly everything I do. Where's the excitement in that bull huh? yeah, my thirst for excitement. Shit.

In this case, age has nothing to do with a level of maturity of a person. It just doesn't. People need to think twice nowadays and understand the people around them. I have problems, you have problems, we all have problems. How big it is depends on how you make it. Crying about it won't do you any good. It's okay to let it out but to dwell in it and make it circle your life is no good. Makes you emotionally unstable. A little worse for wear.

Well, at least now, I'm decided on what I should do. It's just that I don't know how to do it. Fuck.

Okay, I've said too much profanity it burns. :P

What's are the key words for today? Understanding. Thinking. thinking TWICE. Emotionally Unstable. Mother Fucker.

I hate it, everything just sucks when I pick up that line to call up the airport. How about a break huh?

I'll get through this, I have to right?

Hey, that entry jsut made me look all depressed and bad. I'm not, I'm okay. :P

I'm doing quite well actually. I just need this time for myself to rant on. :P Haha, but in general, my life is going great.

First Ever in a Long Almost Forever

2006-05-30T10:16:00.000+08:00

Looks like I've been gone for quite a while. Haha, my blogs are always this neglected, ain't that a bad thing?

Well, for a few updates on my life...

1) School started for me already, last May 22 pa actually and my La Salle life is going better than I ever thought. Well, not to that extent yet but its coming along and I like it that way.

2) I have new friends from my block, but yeah, there is this air of everyone can be your friend, you still have to think, there are some people that you can't get along with. Call it female all girl schoolness feeling! Hmm, maybe that's the reason why there are only 2 girls (counting me) and 3 boys in my 'group'. Not htat we are an official barkada but they are my hangout and U-Break buddies! Love you Lawr, Abu (hehe, Arik. Sweetie!) and Myk-Mark (And yes, I ditched the lonely bullfrog but I can't help but feel bad for the person, but who can blame me? He freaked me out! Todo!)

3) I have a list of Orgs to join: GMG (Green Media Group), Harlequin Guils (still choosing if Prod or Presentor), LSDC Street (Hey, I love to dance too!) Pero I am so sure na I will join an Athletic League to be a varsity member, if I can, and also join SANTUGON Political Party. (Yeah, Lawr did a very good job in talking me into it.)

4) I got voted as the Class Secretary. I am very much flattered and honored and surprised that happened. I mean, I'm not one of the more popular or kulit people in the block like Al, Jamie and Krizzy but I was still voted. Funky, I know. Well, all thanks to JY. Hehe.:P Pero snap! My handwriting? Secretary? Those two just don't match!

5) Miss ko na SAGAD!!! AKALA KO BA EVERY SATURDAY OF OUR LIVES TAYO?!?! Dudes, c'mon! Meet up naman tyo. I miss you gays!! And Macreese, I still have your belt.

Well, as you can see, its just the normal college thing for me and I don't know if its the good way or the bad way, but its okay. I'm learning. Sabi nga naman ng friend ko ,'First term is always for preparation.' and I agree with him truthfully and all the way.:P

Well, that's it. Maybe no random ramblings up to date, Nothing else I can do now actually. Nothing to ask my 8-Ball. Well, there is but it's a question I think an 8-ball can't answer and should not be posted here... It's way too personal and if a certain person found out what it was the consequences of it may be something I wouldn't want to find out what. I want to keep to myself what I learned from my parents, but somehow, my body, my brain and my heart have all different things to say and I'm not sure how to deal with it...

Someone help me...

Don't Speak

2006-04-29T08:17:00.000+08:00

Looks, like I'm trapped sitting down here in front of my PC with Gwen Stefani's glory days as a No Doubt front. Yes, Don't Speak, it's such a great song. People underestimate it with it's rock thrills and spills with the adlibs to the drum solos and hits but I believe there's something beneath it. Look, why don't I just cut the crap and ask my 8-- I mean-- Date Ball, huh?

Question:
'Something beneath, do you think there's a slight possibility to keep it there or something just has to let it out?'

Answer:
'Why not? *heart*'

Analysis:
Hmm, looks like a decent answer from the very mighty ball. I guess its right though: nothing hidden beneath can be kept in for that long, especially the wildest of emotions. If you can keep up with my constant ramblings I think you'll see it fit that I do know what I'm talking about, not jsut because of my experiences in life but also the constant reminders we all get.

It's not safe to hide anything anymore, whatever it may be. I mean, not because poeple are so much of gossip mongers and secret itchy people that you can't hide anything, no, that's not it, its the mere thought and resonance of outer being, simply that.

To hide something pressures our body and mind to have these thing we hide, that isn't worth hiding, to puncture our exterior and let it all out on our sleeves without us knowing. I know, its a sickening reboot program our bodies have but what can we do? It's programmed by someone we barely understand how He works. I guess it's because He knows when to hide something, but He made things so that we can't hide it. The best of life is sometimes found at the worst politically incorrect ones, although, politically incorrect is something made up from the new material world we have.

Okay, this is getting deeper.

Well, the 8-ball is right: Why not? Why not keep things out on your sleeve? Things are meant to be worn outside, yes, even underwear, but that changes the whole Madonna thing though.

Okay, wait...

I lost my train of thought. Geez.

Last thoughts?

Simple: Don't hide anything, especially those exploding bursting feelings. I've learned it the hard way when you do. You just end up going crazy or insane over the thought of you not letting your emotions out and still be hung and caught up with the idea of doubt and regret for not doing so. We only have one life to live, only one chance to go around the merry-go-round, so I don't think we have enough excuses in our lives to be 'unpresidentedly reserved'. It's just not an option.

Essay Worth A 90

2006-04-24T15:20:00.000+08:00

Well, to be completely honest, I have no intention of letting anyone read this aside from my teacher and my teacher, but all else failed me. I'm typing it down now.

Wait, I could still be stopped..

Question:
'Should I type down my essay here for the whole world to read it?'
Answer:
' *heart* No Question!'

Analysis:

Alright, that does it. Even my magic Date-Ball is going up against me, I guess I'll just have to jam along with it. Here it goes.

This is the unedited version.

True Love Waits

by Ma. Karmina G. Guevarra

I couldn't bring myself to write a poem, a song, or a simple pick up line for it. It's not something that somebody could just write down in a one liner or jsut a mic of poorly rhymed sentences and phrases, no, it can't be that. I decided to write it in this way. Shakespeare couldn't write it straight in one of his sonnets, who am I to put it so briefly. I know I'm facing lazy A's and D's here, but what can I do? the great emotion of Eros is not in my hands.

the thought came into me as I sat there all alone on out porch, oolong tea in hand with a few drops of honey, jsut the right blend of sweetness. Earphones are stuck in my ears soothing me with alternative music I didn't look too keenly into befor and a view only the best of artists can creat and I'm not talking about Da Vinci. Everything fell perfectly, the music, the tea and the sweet post-December breeze. It couldn't have given me and better chance and choice to pin point where I wanted to be that night; sadly, it wasn't there, it wasn't where I was, though everything seemed perfect.

It was somewhere mindlessly between two places of academia that I don't think I'll both be in in the near future. A place I'll be gald to see and a place I'd rather not be caught dead in. Yes, somewhere roughly there. I'm not making sense. I can't try so hard.

How come we all try so hard to make that perfect moment, to make every move just right so that we can look back at a great romance novel written by your favorite writer? i wouldn't know why either, but I'm trapped in that romantci complex. I want that perfect quixotic world. I want it all, and I'm presented with it. I don't want to use the term 'was'. It wouldn't want to. It's too depressing of a notion.

Im's speaking not in retrospect, but in the sense that maybe I'll have that future i want to be looking at as one of my best pasts. That's it, maybe that's what makes love sweeter and at the same time even more foolish. The mere thought that you want to look back at a great romantic memory wit epic proportions. That single memory that ignites your very romantic soul. That soul that you thought you have lost. It's a deadly notion, if one tries too hard at it, to try so hard to steer into that future, they forget all about the present and making so hard of an effort to make it into a great past. You wouldn't know if it hit you hard in the head.

Now, have you ever had that feeling that you are witht the right person, at the right moment, smack dab into the right spot but he's not saying the right words? That feeling of total frustration is filling you up and you want to cry but you don't want to to do anything you'll regret, maybe in fear of loosing the perfect moment, but who would know the perfect moment? The moon is glistening straight into your eyes, its never been so full, Orion is aiming his arrow at you like he was Cupid, but his mind seems to be somewhere else. There you are, waiting for him to put you together and just hold you and tell you those loving words you'd want Romeo to kneel down to you for, but he's not. It's not happening. It's still that friendly waiting air. Yes, that dreaded word: waiting.

One of the worst things that girls can do is waiting and sadly, that's all we do. We want to take that moment and steer it ourselves and do what our hearts are screaming for, but we can't, we have to wait, and wait we will because we always will. Now I know how Juliet felt in that crypt, that 'happy dagger make me thy sheeth', a great foe, but oten times, the winner.

I heard from a very wise woman before, that waiting is what makes it all sweeter, what makes it all worth while and what makes it all the romantic adventrue every Shakespreare ever wanted, but why do I have the feeling that I don't want that adventure? What if I said I wanted to skip the high sea adventure, the rivetting courthip and the heart wrenching moments of pure melodramatic theatre skits? What if I said I wanted to jump straight into the happily ever after? I don't hink that's possible, every great writer there ever was will rise up from the grave and slap me with their quills and inks.If Odysseus did that, what and how would the Odyssey have turned into? if he killed that bard, would Homer have survived? If Romeo could have just changed his name from Montague and went there with a beard he could have just ook Juliet away. Easier ways yes, but romantic, no. The best heroes were always the best of sufferes and the best of sacrifice makers, the best decision makers and the best of lovers, the realists and the idealists,the best of both worlds and the best of Olympus. Why can't it be the best of me though, which leaves me with my last thought: do I want to be the heroine or the damsel in distress?

I wouldn't want to answer that question now, because if Ido, I'd be lyiung. I'd be torn into lying and telling the truth. I'd be torn between being a hero and being the damsel. There's something I want from the two, but I'm not quite keen and clear on which I want to be, I'll just have to guess in time right?

Looking back, I want to ask: What happened to me? What kind of Cupid hit me now and turned me into a hopeless romantic? I used to right words of folly and of tragic ironies, now I'm trapped between a mix between a Shakespeare and a regular Picasso! Now I feel like I'm my words of folly, trapped in great proportions I'll never understand and between thrashing waves and turbines of emotions I'll be crushed into. I'll never be free of it, no, not until I have that dance, not until I have that moonlight and not until I have that Sleeping Beauty Myth, a kiss. Now all I havae to do is wait for Orion to shoot his arrows and Sirius to retrive it to his side, but I don't think I'll let Sirius do that. The arrows stole something from me, now I want it to steal something from him. he asked me what I thouhgt, but I said it would cost him a penny and a dance, you have to pay the price.

This is a vegetable!

2006-04-01T08:54:00.000+08:00

This is a veggitable.

I don't think I'll be able to keep up with the basic format of my blog, you know, the asking of the eigh-ball then shaking, then the constant writing down of what it meant. No, I won't be able to keep up with it.

Question:
'Is every dance a romantic dance?'
Answer:
'Sounds good to me'

Analysis:

Well, there goes the very profound answer of my 8-ball, ain't it cute?

Well, from the way I see it, every dance is, its just a matter of how it's done right?

Dancing isn't about the perfect steps, the right moves or whatever, its about releasing your inner personality through every gesture you can ever make. Man, I can make a book out of this.

Yesterday was my birthday, a lot of dancing was involved, especially when around 12:00 in the morning was coming along. Wait, I feel the sea calling out to me, waah!

Going back, Me and my friends were dancing the night away as we sang a tyrade of tunes straight from the doggies mouth! :p Weheheh, it was one of the best birthdays I will ever have to date.

Wanna know more?

Well, the night before my birthday, we went to Aruba to watch The Bloomfields play. They were the band who played at our Grad Ball and it was one hell of a blast! Me and Macrise drank Margaritas (frozen) and mingled with the crowd, and oh yeah, got kissed by JJ. It was a mere peck okay, not even a peck, it was just the little cheek kiss, in tagalog terms, beso-beso. :P Which, translated into Spanish is really funny, kiss-kiss. Haha, i think its some weird parody for tagalog for kiskis but I don't think the literary scholars have a conspiracy behind everything. Haha. Why did I sound defensive, nah, I wasn't, I just share a lot of kisses, I'm non-conventional and a non-conformist at that, so expect the weird and surprising things from me, ain't it great?

The gig and partying at Aruba really proved so good to me. It was kind of like my initiation into the college world or the independent world that I am about to walk into when I fainally choose my college of choice. Whehehe, now that's another 8-ball question I'd rather leave for GOD to answer.

Wow, I'm straying off topic again,. I'm so good at that.

Well, as I said, yesterday was my birthday, and it seems that my birthday was one of the greatest examples of why dance shouldn't be a perfectionist thing, that it should be one of those things you learn from books, that's my theory on it, but I have nothing against dance schools, I was in one before and let me tell you I got out the moment I came in.

Dancing is a thing tat we pull out from our vary caches of the heart, mind, body and soul. Every simple gesture counts, even the very slightest sway. Romantic slow dances are done simple enough, you hold the person you're dancing with, it depends on the level of relationship or how special that person is to you though, and you just sway, from side to side, and it doesn't matter whether or not you step on his or her toe, or you can boogie like Elvis or Jamiroqui, its all a matter of who you are with and who can hear your song. Dancing can go to the very extremes of movement, that's how its supposed to be. Let it be the one speak for you when you can't shout, or laugh for you when you can't smile or even cry for you when the tears are afraid to fall. Dancing isn't just movement, its a window to what you hide.

So if you want to dance, please do.

Free Time, High Time...Bye

2006-03-10T10:50:00.000+08:00

Wow, this is it. I'm in a classroom where everyone is anxious to walk that paved cemented floor of the SHS gym and go up that stage to graduate with smiles. Everyone here is all smiles now, but everytime you remind them that they are about to leave the school, everytime a teacher says her goodbyes for her last period every in the SY 2005-2006, everyone lets out agush, 'Aaaaw!' and start getting teary-eyed. Yes my friends, we are about to leave school.

I guess I'm going to miss Holy,everything about it. From it's unpainted walls to it's newly attached ariconditioners, from its dreary and haunted bathrooms to its science labs filled with specimens in a jar, from its hall of horror teachers to the ones that made a difference in your life. Yes, I know, I'm being all too dreary about this, but I guess that's it. That's life. We have to leave, but what I'll miss most of all, is the people. Everyone in school touched and walked away in my life here in school. We are a batch that has been together for as long as we all can remember and by remember we mean our Prep days where all of us were chubby cheeked, short and thick bangs sporting kids who knew nothing but to play. Guess we went a long way, but let's not forget the people who just joined in the ride during our first year in highschool. They also helped make a difference and without them, guess the ride wouldn't be as bumpy smooth as it is. Hey, they're SHSians, they're Sixtreme and they kept on rocking.

Sandali lang,I dond't want this to be a teary-eyed tribune. No. I want to go away and be rememebred as part of the batch, as we were known, as we always were: Sixtreme. The batch that led the SY 2005-2006 into a year of happiness, victories, defeats, tears, laughters and everything else that we did. Call me a hot air balloon for being mayabang, but I guess everyone will agree with me when I say that this batch is one of the best that Holy Spirit has ever held. Proof? Okay. A lot of people are saying, especially the lower batches, 'Pag umalis kayo. Pano na?' Okay, okay, too mayabang for words, but I'll leave it at that.

This batch has made a lot of firsts. Not just in highschool, but in gradeschool too:

1) First batch to not take the NEAT
2) First batch with the airconditioners
3) First batch to ever get the Over-All Champion from Eco Week
4) First batch to ever have the SPOTLIGHT

Okay they're only four, but hey, we won't stop there.

Here's another list.

Things that will mark you as a girl from Pamayanan:

1) you know the pamayanan clap
2) you speak and react like Katdab
3) you associate words with other things for a corny hirit. (ex. Dillema - nangyayari kapag brownout)
4) you have 'boyfriends' inside the classroom
5) you are 'competitive' (kunooo!)
6) you are either in a group whose name is a national hero or a bird
7) you sing corny OPM for a living
8) you rock to the alternative Pinoy Bands to date.
9) you KNOW who Reg De Vera is and agree she's a cutie
10) you look forward to Physics class
11) the BLUE BOOK is your BIBLE
12) lettering? Vero!
13) you are in a band of sorts
14) you always make song parodies for a project. (i.e health projects)
15) you associate cookies with .... (*wink wink*)
16) 'Junnie!' is a constant word in our vocabulary
17) you have at least one recognition from a class work turned competition
18) you sit with whomever at maingay ka pa rin
19) when somebdoy raises a camera in the air, TAKBO!!! PICTURE NA!!
20) you know the gulay dance
21) you record the following words:
of course
for example
especially
noh
hindi ba and the likes
(by the way, record breaking po, March 3, 2006 naka-99 na of course!)

** ayan pa lang nalalagay ko guys! to all Pamayanan peeps! Add naman kayo! Comment lang!!**

Moonlight

2006-02-20T21:50:00.000+08:00

Oh well, I guess there will be no more need for the Date-Ball. Wait, what am I saying? It's the only decent thing I'm talking to these days. Will I take its advice on this one or not? Let's see.

Question:
'Do fairytales come true?'
-translation 'do things I write have even the slightest possibility of coming true?'

Answer:
'You know it.'

hmm, I guess these things really do know a bit about reality huh?

Well, press time, it's already February 21, 2006 and I know I should have blogged about this the first time I had the chance or the first time things called for it (sorry Penguin, you know my attitude, right? :P) but I didn't because I didn't want to go expose on the moment. Maybe let time and tide take its course on me? Oh well, moving on.

Eversince Saturday, Feb 18, 2006, things have been, well, not so different for me, but maybe it was for my family.

It's the first time I'm having a legal relationship, yes I'm a bad girl but I got that all behind me now, and the shock to my parents just seems to have settled down only now.

I don't know, maybe it's all the things that I've been doing that they haven't really taken notice of any drastic change whatsoever. The only change that did happen was my Friendster status, nothing more, nothing less. Don't get me wrong though, I'm feeling so different now than I have ever did before. I guess this is what you call 'recovering from a coma' kind of thing. I mean, this is going to be something entirely new for me since my family knows about this and I can share things with my mom. Ladies, whatever they say, it's still better to go legal with your parents and your relationships. It's more liberating that way and it makes you feel trusted and happy with life.

I know the feeling already and it's great. No more denying and hiding things, you can be plainly out in the open. I guess, some things change you huh?

Well, I bet you'd wanna know what happen to me that night. It's a secret. Let's jsut put i bluntly, it's something I ahve never experienced before. I never thought being a date to a Penguin woud turn out pretty well.

To be honest, at first I thought that Feb. 18 wouldn't be that night as of yet, but I guess I stand corrected, blindfolded and everything.

Wait, what's the connection of all this that I'm saying to the questioin I asked my Date-Ball? Well, I wrote a little essay before entitled 'True Love Waits' and let's just say that the last few paragraphs proved to be clairvoyant.

Well, guess I should end this entry now.

There's nothing else left to say right now. haha, ayaw ko nga! Mamaya kulitin nanaman ako ni Penuing.

I'm just happy for myself, for and him and for us. For those who aren't happy for us, I guess it's their problem. I didn't do this for them. I didn't do this for anyone. I'm just happy and that's all that should matter.

"Pride makes a person feel bitter about somebody else's happiness. don't let it fool you into thinking otherwise."

Can't shake it...the ball isn't here.

2006-02-12T20:54:00.001+08:00

Well.. I guess from the title you'd know Im not home, isn't it?

Well, i'm not. All I'm doing here really is just accompanying my younger brother and sister go online in this net cafe to chat and to do things. Hay, it's so irrelevant. Oh well. I guess this Valentine's Day is going tobe the same, or will it?

People have been giving me hints that this valentine's day will be different. That I'll be spending it with roses and all that other Don Quixote messings. Oh well, but why do I get the feeling that I won't be spending it that way? Will it be any different?

I won't go on a tyrade against Valentine's Vay ang all it's celebrated lovers. All V'll do is go on a tyrade against MY wn love life. Haha, but I won't rant. Just go on a tyrade. :P

Question:
Will this time be any different?
Answer:
How should I know? (imaginary answer)

Hmm, judging from that I guess even the great ball wouldn't know. It's all because maybe that's what I saw that would come out when I shook a ball of air in mid nothing. Maybe it's not just a joke, or maybe iuts not just my imagination but the truth. WHo am I to say that? No one I guess.

Well, I'm not the type to be ranting about my lvoe life anyway. What's to rant about? I'm happy the way my life is and if GOD wants something new for it, then okay. I will accept anything that goes my way. Just not to take anyone away from me, not yet... I won't be able to take that.

Okay, moving one.

Wow, we're almost graduating. I hope I'm one of the people to graduate. I know that thought is kinda scary but even the smartest of the smart think that, with the way everything is flowing here in our school? The short periods the multiple competitions for fourth year students? Wow, it's a surprise we even get by!

I don't have much to say for this entry.

The only reason why Im up here at Pipeline is bacsue I don't want to listen to them talk to the witnesses who brought my late cousin to the hospital when they found him one the pavement dying. No, it's a too devastating thing to hear and even worse to think about. I have an active imagination and I don't want it that way. I don't want to think about him like that. all I want to think about is his happy face when he dances. His smiles when he laughs and his shouts whenever he visits our house... I'l miss that about him. It made me realize though. I never go tot hug him...

I miss him..

Fly high Kuya Dennis and dance the dance of angels and waltz with the spirits of heaven. I love you.

Shakey one more to!

2006-01-31T21:19:00.000+08:00

Yeah! I finally have my own 8ball wait, no, its a date ball. grr.. oh well, at least i got something to shake!

Well, here's the story.

My dad was feeling extra rich and extra generous that day so he decided to buy me almost anything I wanted. Haha, yeah, spoiled I know.

So my brother rushed to the toy store and the kid inside me had the gut feel to let go of every papaer bag that contained shoes and clothes and ran into Toy Kingdom. Fair enough, I told my dad it was my dreqm to have an 8-ball so he told me to go look for one. I asked one of these sales ladies who passed me on to these sales dudes and fair enough, he led me towards the 8-balls. Maybe heknew it from looking at me but he handed me the pink one, I didn't read it! I just stared at it and said, 'Oh yeah!', but I didn't let the black one slip past me, I wanted that one too, but eversince my cousin, I think I'll lay off of the blacks for a while. :P So I picked up the pink and bought it!

Later did I realize it was a date ball...its okay.,..i needed help in that field anyway. :P

Question:
'Will I be doing the right thing?'

Answer:
'FOrget it...'

Okay...Darn, and I wanted to do it anyway. HAha, oh well, guess I have to wait for that day to come. Haha, then I'll decide. As I said before, the 8-ball or Date-ball, in thbis case, won't rule over me, I'll just let it guide me and send shivers of kilig down my spine. Haha, bad usage of words I know, but I love it. ^_^

Guess I'll be flying solo for a hile...

I know I'll regret my decision sooner or later but that's what I have to do to make myself and everything else right. Even at the expense of myself and everything else.. Haha, I know GOD won't let me down to things... He knows me and everything I do...

I just want to thank GOD for every oppurtunity He's given me and I hope I'm reading all the signs right.

And before I forget, of course, Kuya Dennis is also watching me from where he is right now. I still can't accept the fact that he's gone for sometimes I still look for him but I already know that he'll be happy wherever he is and dancing the dance of kings. Good luck to my kuya. Actually, now, its God Bless...

Shake Twice for Luck?

2006-01-03T12:59:00.000+08:00

Guess I can't totally decide on what to do with this thing now.

Wait, Question first...

Question No.2:
"Do you think listening to these kind of music will help soothe me?'

8-Ball:
"Who know? Maybe it will, maybe it won't?"

Okay, that confused me.

Well, for a little update on my lfe, I still haven't gotten around to knowing what to do with my life, particularly, my present life. I'm happy enough I passed a university already, but the things that I'm in need of right now is just not reachable.

I'm listening to this Hale song, GOD I haven't listened to this CD for a while, it's Here Tonight and I'm not sure who sang it. I'm not that die hard of a fan, I like a little mystery. Yeah, that saved my skin.

I like it. It makes me feel needy. I don't know, but feeling needy sometimes just keeps me on my toes, it keeps me to feel so much more emotions that I never could while I was alright. While I was just playing around. Somehow, making me feel needy like this helps me be more me, because that's me, I'm needy. The line 'I need you here tonight' and the lines that come after it pulls me out of this body that I hid myself in. Yes, I know, I am a very confident person and I can't blame anyone who sees that in me because that's who I am, but even the best can be the worst.

Maybe I suffer from the feeling of just wanting to be loved. Yes, I am lvoed by the people who surround me and I'm plainly happy for that, but what I mean is, well, I just need to feel in need. Haha, it helps me in my writing. Maybe they were right, music can really soothe the soul. It soothes mine by making it feel uneasy. I love being a hopeless romantic.

I love the feeling of a good chase and a good love story written with all the right words in place and intact, wait, did I spell that one right?

I never really realized up until now that Filipino Alternative Rock Music can help you in the things you want to emotionally achieve in such small ways and in such little time, like, give or take, what, 5 mins? Exactly.

The things that may sound and seem so corny to other people may not be so when you just sit down and listen to it, especially the ones with pure authentic tagalog music, but things from trying hard bands and those filipino female 'artistas' who double up to singing irritates me to the core. I just hate them.

Filipino bands often fronted by male singers like Bamboo, Rivermaya, Sugarfree and Hale to name a few, can somehow bring me to just listen to them and it's not the typical I like the way you look like feeling. It's the song writing that brings me to i. If you really listen to it and buy the original CD of any band, you'll realize the lyrics are really so poetic only masked behind the contemporary feel of the instruments, the ryhthm and the beats. Human emotions are played within and by these lyrics, its something subliminal to a lighter point of view.

Wait, I don't know what I'm doing here. I think I'm plugging in for Pinoy music, but I'm not. I'm plugging in for good music. Music that will really be there and speak to you on those lonely nights, not like the dirty raps that some are getting accustomed to. Rap is good, but only on a clubbing scale. Sad to say, some filipinos try so hard to cling on to the rap genre and fail miserably. Sorry guys, you 're just not street enough. Sad isn't it? Originality all gone.

What is it there left to say but my emotions running wild on me. My thoughts are on a killing spree. Musicality is not just a skill, it's a gift because if you can only poroduce the musicality to produce money and not the musicality to produce the proudcts of the soul, then what use is your musicality?

I'll leave you with that lingering thought, it's all in you now and whatever you plan to do with it and however you plan to deal with it is all up to you. Now take sides, which part of musicality you'd rather be in? Musicality of the heart and soul or musicality of the wordly life?

I think this time I'm pretty sure of what I'm looking for and wanting to do, but I'm not that much of an instrumentalist, I write my songs, I have my own harmony but never my own tune.

Maybe it's a cure to what I lost or maybe its a key to what I'll find. All that matters to me now is the eternal wanting of nothing more but to find the right musicality and the right pitch to bring my soul out to where it's supposed to be, but right now, I'll never really know.

Listen. To. Your. Soul

First Shake At It

2005-12-30T21:33:00.000+08:00

It looks like I have a new blog going on. Jeez, will I keep this one as updated?

Well, I named my blog after a cue ball 'coz I've been so crazy to have one just for the heck of it and I don't have it, I don't know why. Maybe its the weather, yeah, blame everything on the weather.

I don't know but Cue Balls fascinate me, especially the pink ones, basically just for the color purposes.

Cue Balls are like man made destiny holders and makers and shapers and any other -ers. Haha, we follow them unconciously (SP?) even if we do say its for fun. Maybe that's why I want to have a Cue Ball. Oh well.

By the way, I'm using an imaginary Cue Ball and I'm basing it on what other people say. Haha, nice Cue Ball.

I'll update this as soon as I can see something. Wait, I'm seeing something...

Question No. 1:
Does the guy at FIC have a crush on me?
Cue Ball:
Most Probably

Nikki has been so paranoid about this person over at FIC, just because he gives me more Ice Cream than anyone else with us when I asked for a double scoop.

I asked Tricco, he said, 'That's a guy's unconcsious way of flirting and saying I have a crush on you."

I answered him, "And so your point is?"

I don't know why people get to it with much anticipation to hear the latest one, is hard to have friends nowadays?

Well, tomorrow, we're going to play badminton over at DASC with Inez, Ate Shayne, Nikki and Tricco. The other companion is still under check kung sino. :P

Well, This is a very shallow entry, good luck to all. :P